An embarrassing tale!
As was her want, she patted the host of toothy-grinning, expectant young fillies on the bonce. Ruffling their flowing locks, she smiled, for the time had come for a little divine magic. From just one cotton candy stick and two lollipops, a supernatural phenomenon, as she handed out to each and every one of the … More ‘ANYTHING YOU CAN DO I CAN DO BETTER’
ETCHINGTON’S DEMISE Inspector Lestrade: “Good God Watson, the pair of you took your bloody time getting here. You only live around the sodding corner. What kept you so long?” Dr Watson: “The reason for our ‘brief’ delay I’ll have you know was that Holmes insisted he finish The Times crossword puzzle whilst sat in the … More SHERLOCK HOLMES SUFFERS DETECTIVE’S BLOCK
An extract from the autobiography of the much fabled Twattersley Fromage MBE, TP, UFC, WNKR of the First Order & Jolly Decent Chap My quest a simple yet illustrious one that would herald the dawn of a new heroic age of exploration. At the behest of none other than Her Majesty herself I had willingly … More A WOMAN IN LOVE HAS NO NEED OF A THERMAL VEST
A Photo Salvador Dalí kindly took of Shirley & I at our favourite Parisian Café back in ’24 It is June 1924 in the magical period of the ‘Années folles’. We are in The City of Love. Paris by any other name. Moreover, we are young and devoted to one another. Overnight, spring has turned … More SCOTT FITZGERALD’S PENIS
Always I have hugged trees. Even as a small child I hugged them…all varieties mind…for there is nothing like communing with nature in my book. In point of fact nothing can match the feeling of bare skin on bark…the silver birch especially. My parents thought me most odd. Pater would often say to me, ‘Jessica, … More THE SAD DEMISE OF JESSICA DOWNLOW – THE TREE HUGGING SUICIDAL POET
“Crumbs Juniper there’s a God awful pong about the lounge this morning. I’m guessing you’ve been on the pulses once more, my love?” “Yes Denzel darling I did venture toward the curried red lentil savouries at Marigold’s little soirée in aid of the impoverished harvesters of the organically grown damsons of Cumbria last evening. Rather … More JUNIPER CHERRY-BLOSSOM – THE PULSE EATING VEGAN
Venue, Hell – Post the Beginning of Time: A most disgruntled Satan is rummaging about Hell looking for his bicycle clips. Ever since the idea struck him last evening he’d been looking forward to going ‘off road’ on his new mountain bike, a present from Enepsigos (the fallen angel who appears in the shape of … More SATAN’S LOST BICYCLE CLIPS
GREAT LIVES: This Week, I Interview Danny Soz, Who Doesn’t Like To Mention His Book MIKE: So Danny, tell us a little about yourself DANNY: I’ve written a book MIKE: Yes, I meant tell us something about your personal history. The place you were born and grew up in, for example DANNY: I was born … More GREAT LIVES: THIS WEEK, DANNY SOZ
The sun is shining. The time has come to take a summer break from blogging. Not too long a break, just sufficient enough for dear Shirl and I to partake of a little time travel and do what disgraceful aging juveniles do best. I’ll leave you to guess what the latter might be. In the … More A SUMMER BREAK
WARNING: This book may contain traces of nuts (not of the edible kind) and may also cause drowsiness amongst those unfamiliar with the English language. Bibliophobia sufferers may experience severe panic attacks. Additionally, it is strongly recommended that you do not drive whilst reading. INGREDIENTS: Lunacy, stupidity, silliness, idiocy, absurdity, aberration, eccentricity and fragments of … More THE ELASTIC SNAPPED
