Humour – – MIKE STEEDEN

JONNY CATAPAULT – THE PLUMBER THE ARTISTS ALL TRUST & LEONARDO DA VINCI’S BANGING WATER PIPES

December 5, 2021

“Well you know what they say Lenny boy, ‘There’s no such thing as a silent plumbing system,’ yet yours was banging away like a Soho brothel on a Saturday night if I may say so. I’m surprised you could get any bo-peep. Still, it’s all sorted now I’ve installed a handy anti-siphon trap.” “Yeah I … More JONNY CATAPAULT – THE PLUMBER THE ARTISTS ALL TRUST & LEONARDO DA VINCI’S BANGING WATER PIPES

ON HOW MARY HAS MORE ‘FOLLOWERS’ ON FACEBOOK THAN JC

October 10, 2021

Judea AD28. JC has been out and about all morning and has now returned home for a spot of lunch only to find Mary sat down in her favourite chair playing with her iPad thing exactly as he left her earlier. The look upon his face reveals that JC is not happy about this in … More ON HOW MARY HAS MORE ‘FOLLOWERS’ ON FACEBOOK THAN JC

AN ‘ONLY CHILD’ & HIS MUM’S AMAZING GERM PHOBIA

May 27, 2021

‘An Unusual Take on Life and Social History from the 1950’s Onward‘ In a perfect world I’d have been rich and famous thus deemed worthy of penning the story of my own life. In reality I am a content ‘nowhere man’ with a vast chronicle of all things bonkers to pass on to anyone who … More AN ‘ONLY CHILD’ & HIS MUM’S AMAZING GERM PHOBIA

A GONDOLIER; A STARLIT NIGHT

May 2, 2021

A GONDOLIER, A STARLIT NIGHT Conjure me a social leperConjure me an ice cold beerConjure me a starlit nightAnd perhaps a romantic gondolier Venice, it was VeniceWhere my sanity was lostFell in love with an actressWith a heart as cold as frost Blanche the name she went bySo sweet when I had moneySo cruel when … More A GONDOLIER; A STARLIT NIGHT

A BUNDLE OF TRUE LOVERS

April 11, 2021

A BUNDLE OF TRUE LOVERS You always walked the high wire, without a safety netyou were both brave and foolish, yet now I’m cursed never to forgetthat day you turned on a sixpence, that awful day you let me straythen stole a pistol from your father’s study and blew your brains away The day they … More A BUNDLE OF TRUE LOVERS

THE RAMBLINGS OF AN OLD DYING KING

March 7, 2021

“By sneeze or by God’s grievanceby Adam’s putrid aleor by those recalcitrant whoresI am ruined Can you thenmix me an ointmentfashion me a potionfind me a curecan you?If not then go forthand multiplythe pox is still with mewhat use the charlatan quack? Child, bring me ‘water bright’I thirstBring me ‘water bright’ nowthis instantso I can … More THE RAMBLINGS OF AN OLD DYING KING

‘ANYTHING YOU CAN DO I CAN DO BETTER’

May 4, 2020

As was her want, she patted the host of toothy-grinning, expectant young fillies on the bonce. Ruffling their flowing locks, she smiled, for the time had come for a little divine magic. From just one cotton candy stick and two lollipops, a supernatural phenomenon, as she handed out to each and every one of the … More ‘ANYTHING YOU CAN DO I CAN DO BETTER’

SHERLOCK HOLMES SUFFERS DETECTIVE’S BLOCK

February 25, 2020

ETCHINGTON’S DEMISE Inspector Lestrade: “Good God Watson, the pair of you took your bloody time getting here. You only live around the sodding corner. What kept you so long?” Dr Watson: “The reason for our ‘brief’ delay I’ll have you know was that Holmes insisted he finish The Times crossword puzzle whilst sat in the … More SHERLOCK HOLMES SUFFERS DETECTIVE’S BLOCK

A WOMAN IN LOVE HAS NO NEED OF A THERMAL VEST

November 26, 2019

An extract from the autobiography of the much fabled Twattersley Fromage MBE, TP, UFC, WNKR of the First Order & Jolly Decent Chap My quest a simple yet illustrious one that would herald the dawn of a new heroic age of exploration. At the behest of none other than Her Majesty herself I had willingly … More A WOMAN IN LOVE HAS NO NEED OF A THERMAL VEST

SCOTT FITZGERALD’S PENIS

November 14, 2019

A Photo Salvador Dalí kindly took of Shirley & I at our favourite Parisian Café back in ’24 It is June 1924 in the magical period of the ‘Années folles’. We are in The City of Love. Paris by any other name. Moreover, we are young and devoted to one another. Overnight, spring has turned … More SCOTT FITZGERALD’S PENIS

	mikesteeden on ‘IN THE BEGINNING……
	Sandra Burns ART on ‘IN THE BEGINNING……
	Bumba on ‘IN THE BEGINNING……
	Liz Gauffreau on ‘IN THE BEGINNING……
	Dale on ‘IN THE BEGINNING……

– MIKE STEEDEN –

THE DRIVELLINGS OF TWATTERSLEY FROMAGE

Tag: Humour