outside the garret window a carnival in full flowpretty maids street dancingeach one with a handsome beau yet here, in here there is no revelryjust a distant pulsating beatsome cheering and much laughterrising up from those with the world at their feet we are monochrome marionettes you knowwithout a puppet masterover familiarity has led usto … More TWO PIG-HEADED LOVERS


Above, the one-eyed girl before the accident. Artist unknown. The one-eyed girl of almost fatal disasters had spent the entire morning wondering why blokes…for the main part…prefer revolvers and rifles over the humble hand-grenade. By lunchtime, she’d given up pondering, saying to herself, “What do I know,” for the time had come for scoffing yesterday’s … More HARRY AND HIS GIRLS


When my erudite doctor and my scrumptious Shirley both insist I should take a break from compulsive computers, endurance saunters and over thinking, I have to listen. Instead of routine I have more pills to swallow than there are pebbles on the harbour beach. So close to finishing my new tome entitled, ‘The Outrageous Miss … More STRANGE TIMES


Underneath the Bridge of Heartache the saintly take their shelterIn the dark tunnel of delusions white-face clowns aim to provokeThere’s a Best Ragweed Hotel made up of just cardboardWhere a ‘mutton dressed as lamb’ Madam comforts the broke On the merry-go-round favoured by ‘bruise easily’ loversThe pipe organ plays cacophonous rhapsodiesSteam powered wooden ponies all … More UPSIDE DOWN


I’ve been out of the WP writing game of late trading my pen for what felt like a doctor’s stove poker…if, indeed, doctors carry such things. Thankfully, all is well. If I have a humorous memory of my necessary starvation prior to, or indeed when visiting the hospital, it is that of the delightful young … More THE OLD FOOL