Why on Gods earth would you leave me All alone, heart broken in two Leaving no note to explain of your motives Without even saying adieu I mean I gave you all that you asked for The diamonds, the Rolex’s, the yacht The race horse, the mansion in Surrey The muscular valet to fan … More PERHAPS IF I ASK HER NICELY
“I say Carruthers darling you know Adele don’t you?” “A ‘Del’…um…that would be a Derek by any other name wouldn’t it? Don’t think I do as it happens Deidre…I mean I know a Harry, went to school with more than one Brian and then there’s Percy the landlord at the Three Sheep & Covert Periscope…but … More THE LUNACY OF BEING
On reflection all he ever really wanted was a big breasted red head with a proper red headed temper and fiery passion, possessing of a cut throat razor and the mind of a gutter? ‘Just my deceased luck’ to be stuck with little Miss Tedium! A new day dawned. “Did you know if we … More MASSIVE FOREHEADS
Calcutta, India 1857: Her scabrous locomotive from Delhi arrived two days late yet through a haze of soot and smoke and to the overbearing melody of whistles, clatter, hoots and bells bang into the oppressive humidity of the City of Joy arrive it eventually did. The delay? Perhaps dung on the tracks, peasants on … More DREAMERS VALIDATE THE OTHER REALM
In his dream she was there with him a café where cigarettes were approved of, vapour camouflaged the hectic waiters stumbling, rushing yet never spilling a drop an accordion fidgeted, Jacques Brel sung a chanson, made all the big girls cry Waking up can sometimes be a let down He favoured Russian roulette … More SUNDAY MORNING
“I say Carruthers it’s been so very long since we last did it I think I’ll need lubricant.” “Lou Bricant! Who the ruddy hell is Lou Bricant when he’s at home and why oh why Deidre would you need him…whomsoever the bastard is…am I not your husband…am I not capable of fulfilling even your more … More DEIDRE’S LUBRICANT!
Sat peacefully in his much treasured rocker down at the bottom of the garden his crony, an unkempt slow worm the tom cat had tortured basking at his side he chose with eyes wide open to stare intently at the fiery edges of a remorseless high noon sun An hour or so earlier he had … More HANGING WALLPAPER NAKED
Hanging atop the frigid moorlands even the storm clouds huddle for dear life. Rooted below a tired old toff sits before a blazing log fire within his ramshackle manor house, granite firm within an acreage erstwhile set to lawn, hedgerow and glorious fountains yet these days no more than a frightful brier permeated wasteland. As … More MEGAN OF THE DELIGHTFUL ARSE
Ding-a-ling…ding-a-ling…knock knock…knock knock “Ah Miss Wrexia here for your 11AM appointment? Jolly good to see you once more. May I call you Anna?” “Of course you may.” “Then Anna it is…I do think keeping things informal helps with any treatment program. Now tell me how you have been getting along since our first session although … More ANITA SUGGESTION – THE BLUNDERING HYPNOSTIST
I was the only Brit diplomat left At the fall of Saigon, April 75 Thought it prudent to make a sharpish getaway And escape whilst still alive Just outside of the US Embassy Amidst the panicking throng A pretty young local girl approached me Asked if she could tag along She said, ‘Kind … More MY ROMANCE IN A TIME OF WAR!