WARNING: This book may contain traces of nuts (not of the edible kind) and may also cause drowsiness amongst those unfamiliar with the English language. Bibliophobia sufferers may experience severe panic attacks.  Additionally, it is strongly recommended that you do not drive whilst reading. INGREDIENTS: Lunacy, stupidity, silliness, idiocy, absurdity, aberration, eccentricity and fragments of … More THE ELASTIC SNAPPED


Reveil, Boulevard de Clichy – Anders Zorn, 1899 Drunk on Pernod, lost to opium and thoroughly fatigued, gifting smoke rings to ungrateful stars, contemplating an interlude with an immodest, exiled Geisha touting for business somewhere along the Boulevard de Clichy, she found me; saved me. Slapped my wrists, gave me the evil eye, even had … More THE ENGLISHMAN


In abandoned captivity, within a wrought iron cage, within a cold Caen limestone walled cell, within a forgotten fortress set in the shadow of the dark side of civilization, sits an innocent occupant, determined by his sniggering contemporaries to be the guilty party, his crime, the stealing of the hearts of a divided nation. He … More THE PRISONER


The little green pills that tasted dreadfully bitter numbed her senses, invalidated her inhibitions, nullified tomorrows ‘it wasn’t me’ traumas. At least a would-be Eve in a dressing gown no longer had to cloak herself in The Devil’s thorny barbed coronet, yet abject boredom was the price she paid. Besides she liked disguises. Certainly, she … More EVE IN A DRESSING GOWN


As of about now I shall be away from my blog spoiling my dear wife, Shirl. I estimate that by the end of June she will likely tire of such indulgence. In the meantime, I leave you with a dose of refined lunacy and wish one and all the very best of good fortune. CUCKOO … More CUCKOO ALICE


Cambridge had taught her the reflective ways of philosophy; likewise, covert operations had taught her to think on the hoof. It is thus that contradicting her previous well thought through ‘theory of his full-time protection’, she concludes she needs a space within which to think. Hence a little later, mid-mornings prospect of strong coffee only … More ENTICING ASYLUM


Oppressors who find themselves incapable of mastering hypnosis generally further their nefarious ambitions by way of implementing the contrived premise, ‘supremacy by way of inflicting terror upon the general populous’. Insofar as the highly-prized prisoner was concerned, he served that purpose well. In essence, he was an example and a warning to one and all. … More A PENNY WHISTLE ORCHESTRA