A lullaby for the exposed stowaways, the very least the First Mate could do In the safety of his quarterdeck cabin, away from the attentions of the rest of the crewOutward bound from Havana, on a paddle steamer under auxiliary sailKeeps an even keel in a big sea, keeps a straight line in the face … More A LULLABY FOR THE STOWAWAYS
A COUNTRY NAMED ‘LONDON’ Humourless Satire with a soupçon of French France allowed…after all, proper Londoners own multiculturism I met with a streetwise professor who was on my side…or was it the other way around? Matters not and regardless, we vented our respective fury upon each other as well as the very ground where inexplicit … More A COUNTRY NAMED ‘LONDON’
“I say Carruthers, I’ve heard tell Jacob is racist. What pray do you make of that my friend?” “Who the bleddy hell is Jay Cobb when he’s at home?” “I think you got the wrong end of the stick old chum, it’s Jacob Rees-Mogg who’s racist.” “Good Lord, so Rees-Mogg is aka Ray Cyst. Doesn’t … More NEWS OF BREXIT ISSUES REACHES THE FOREIGN OFFICE IN LONDON
A Tale for Small People & Aging Juveniles The soundest of sleeps, a slumber not of the type enjoyed by those of us consigned to the mortal world, annoyingly disturbed. A child? At least he thinks the voice that bellows so is that of an overly expectant child. Whatever, his Dark Age final resting place … More SILVER COLOURED PEOPLE BY THE SCORE
To awaken is a saddening thing as and when the sandman’s coma flounders, gifts the valueless gift of spontaneity, that ordeal of wretched consciousness in the ‘once upon a time’ land that compassion forgot He never knew his telescope had a lens cap fitted The man in the shop never mentioned that at all … More IN THE LAND THAT COMPASSION FORGOT
A luke warm day on England’s pastures green Foreign bloke, missus and nipper out strolling Babe in second-hand pram, a good one, mind Bunch of lads, tracksuit bottoms and hoodies Block the path of foreign bloke, missus and nipper Mouthing, ‘You can fuck off home where you belong, If you don’t we can fucking kick … More THE LISTENER & THE RUMANIAN
Where once an amen egalitarian Round Table and Aston Martins galore now just the detritus of a bygone Camelot and bucket loads of ill will small vices, flawless nightmares and oh so fractured castles in the air Indigenous self-exaltation abreast home grown uninspired Cox’s Orange Pippins antipathy toward coffee coloured anything a kingdom that belittles … More ENGLAND, MY OLDE ENGLAND
Cairo 1922 A gift of informal probate One grain of sand Under the looking glass Also under a shaft of brilliance A rainbow prism A crystal world of possibilities One grain of sand Bequeathed to me from The Last Will and Testament Of a dear friend A shoe less station of Proclaimed … More THE EVERLASTING ORGASM OF DEATH
“Whatcha Nige old chap, your usual pint of British Bulldog Ale is it?” “Do you know landlord I cannot make my mind up although my taste buds are, oddly, gagging for a little Belgium number. The desire for a chilled bottle of Flemish Monk Gobsnorter brewed in Brussels overwhelms me. And by the way … More NIGEL FARAGE SUFFERS RACIST, SEXIST, HOMOPHOBIC, ANTI-EU & ANTI-IMMIGRATION ‘BLOCK’!
Mrs Kip: “Oh look dear those two gay chaps, Graham and Nigel, up the road have sent us an invite to the reception they’re having in their backyard after their civil partnership on Saturday – all the neighbours are going. It’s an RSVP so I’ll say we’ll be attending shall I? Sounds like a … More HUGH KIP THE CLOWN & THE RADICALISED HOMING PIGEON!