In answer to your question No I haven’t killed your cat Your dog or your reptiles Nor your stupid bloody bat Admittedly I frowned at them Just the other day For when you let them out to frolic They do quite often stray Here into my garden Which is my pride and joy … More ERIC THE CROCODILE’S POTENTIAL
‘Careful where you put your hands’ Is what she said to me ‘But madam I am armless Turnabout and you will see’ With that the damsel about faced Looked at me with distain And even though I was upper limb challenged She requested I refrain From doing whatever she thought I’d done Though … More WHERE HIS HANDS DOTH ROAM!
THE NEW BOY Golly and gosh I get ever so excited when a new student arrives mid-term. Don’t ask me why because I simply cannot say how such an enthusiasm takes its hold of me. So you can imagine how I felt when the headmistress told me that little Blessing Tinibo, an orphan who had … More JUNIPER SPIRITSUP – THE ANNOYINGLY OPTIMISTIC SCHOOL MISTRESS & POET
The ghost of Bunty Flapper, Haunts the East End postal code, From the Blind Beggar in Whitechapel, To The White Hart, Mile End Road. A poor lost soul is Bunty, Of ether she is now composed, And as in life when a working girl, Her ghost is slatternly clothed. Back in the day, … More DEMONS WITH RED HOT POKERS!
Staple my tongue to a gate post, For it is my fatal flaw, My tongue you see talks instead of me, And that’s not what it’s for. My tongue should obey my command, Not let loose on its own, My tongue should learn to be polite, And never make me groan. We were … More STAPLE MY TONGUE TO A GATE POST – A piece of ‘silly’ verse!
Dear Maud, Please do forgive me, I am writing from afar, By the time this missive doth arrive, The bailiffs will have the car, The house and all its contents, The bank accounts frozen too, You will likely have been charged as an accessory, What will become of you? You see sat here … More SIPPING DAIQUIRIS ON THE BEACH – A piece of ‘silly’ verse!
There’s a one toothed old hag down Billingsgate way, Who really did like eating fish, In truth she couldn’t get enough of it, For fish was her most favourite dish. Be it cod, be it hake, or smoked haddock of course, There were no fish that she would not eat, All varieties of fruits … More MY GOD HOW THAT WOMAN COULD SUCK – A piece of silly verse!
Before Batman met up with Robin, His previous ward went by the name, Of none other than the Seagull, And Seagull was a pain, For when compared to Robin, A sweet and gentle lad, Seagull was quite brash and bold, And like his namesake was mostly bad. He would when in the Bat … More BATMAN & SEAGULL – The Days before ‘Robin’
I was in a London tavern, In the year 1930, When I met a diamond geezer, Went by the handle of JC. We got to chat things over, That’s when he laid on me, The story of how he once had died, Then got reborn well and free. “Don’t give me that … More A CRISIS ON THE BEER FRONT – Verse at its ‘silliest’
My son who takes things literally, Did one day say unto me, “We have no sliced bread left Dad, We’ve only rolls I see. And I desire some toast this morn, To breakfast on before, I take my leave to study, Maybe compose a musical score.” My riposte was to observe, He’d … More MY SON WHO TAKES THINGS LITERALLY & A SLICE OF TOAST – A true story told in verse!