To the best of her knowledge Maurelle was French. At least in this dreary realm that was her chosen persona. The bilingual from birth or those unveiled for the sake of reasoning are more often than not puzzled, unsure of their pedigree. Besides, French after all is the language of love and that of those … More MAURELLE
Some see the seagull As they see a curse An affliction One they could do without Big bird is the gull Bovver-boy types Hunt in packs Prone to thievery Chips from the hands Of tourists Ice creams from the lips Of their offspring Packed lunches From the mouths Of school children In playgrounds They dive … More ODE TO THE LATTER DAY SEAGULL!
“Watcha Ug mate what the bloody hell is that you’ve got there?” “Wish I knew Og just wish I knew. I mean there I was with me spear wot I ‘ave improvised using only the chipped off tip of a piece of flint for the pointy bit at the end thereby enabling me to more … More THE DAY STONE AGE MAN DISCOVERED THE TURNIP!
“I say Carruthers jolly good of you to invite me over to your Surrey mansion hideaway for the weekend. Fine place you have here old chap. Acres I’d say.” “True my friend. The pain has afflicted me thus ever since the stallion Gerald back heeled me in the cobblers in fact.” “No I meant acres … More CARRUTHERS’ TIME TRAVELLING MACHINE!
The ghost of Bunty Flapper, Haunts the East End postal code, From the Blind Beggar in Whitechapel, To The White Hart, Mile End Road. A poor lost soul is Bunty, Of ether she is now composed, And as in life when a working girl, Her ghost is slatternly clothed. Back in the day, … More DEMONS WITH RED HOT POKERS!
“I say Carruthers this looks to be a suitable barbers shop in which we might just both get a trim before popping off to the club to quench our respective raging thirsts methinks?” “True, certainly from the outside it has the demeanour of professionalism about it. I do believe we should give it a try … More CARRUTHERS (pictured above) GETS MORE THAN HE BARGAINED FOR WHEN VISITING TED SPONGE ‘THE PUDDING BASIN BARBER’ OF STEPNEY!
“Nice to see you again Frank. Sorry for the wait I’ve had more clients in here today than you could shake a bloody hair dryer at. Anyway what can I do for you today mate?” “Ted don’t give me that old flannel. You only do the bloody ‘pudding basin.’ As you yourself have pointed out … More TED SPONGE ‘THE PUDDING BASIN BARBER’ OF STEPNEY!
“I say Carruthers I do believe my knob’s just fallen orf!” “Well I’ll be blowed old chap that must be a first for medical science. How on earth did that happen?” “Lord knows. One minute it was there next a clunk as it hit the flooring with a wallop.” “With a ‘clunk’ you say. Surely … More THE ENTIRE BRITISH ARMY IS MADE UP OF SCOTTISH RUFFIANS! WHAT TO DO?
“Watcha H nice to see you propping up the bar again – you’ve been a tad under the weather I’ve heard say?” “Bloody right I have Landlord. First cause of my ailment was that some twat sneezed in me face in Lidl’s; next the germs past onto moi to incubate over a few days; then … More HARRY STOTTLE – THE DRINKING MANS PHILOSOPHER!
A reflection Of the guilty party In the mirror of indifference Invisible To the apathetic eye Of those who sit In dominance And decide Who will swing And who will If any Sing Means nothing Means everything Such consummate power For those who have Climbed the ladder Of passionate reason Believing that At the … More THE MIRROR OF INDIFFERENCE