An extract from the autobiography of Twatersley Fromage The day the telegram arrived my heart sunk.  You see the beastly Ottoman swine had kidnapped my one true love, my Mildred and allowed her just the one message home – a glorified ransom note – it read; Dearest Twatersley (STOP) I am in dire straits (STOP) … More THE TALE OF MILDRED’S KNICKERS