Many years ago an English teacher at the end of his tether referred to a painfully shy 13 year old schoolboy who had just spelt the word ‘what’ as ‘wot’ for the umpteenth time as a ‘Moron’! That the lad in question was yours truly I cannot deny. Since that day I must confess my spelling – indeed sometimes my grammar – still lets me down on occasions. Thankfully over the ensuing years I have got to know many more ‘words’!
What of me then? This timid ‘only child’ born of a mother with quite the eccentric germ phobias (she refrained from any and all physical contact for fear of passing on all manner of preposterous imagined diseases) spent his halcyon days of adolescence living entirely in his own head and quite blind to the outside world. That is until the day he discovered the drug mescaline and in his own small way tried to emulate Huxley with some degree of success in that ‘The Doors of Perception’ finally came ajar. I only needed to take said drug just two times. By then I had, as if by wizardry, evolved a hard and fast world view…one which set my moral compass on a compassionate toward all living things, leftist, non-believer course ever since.
Throughout what I call the ‘years of necessity’, those years when one’s offspring are growing up I by vexatious requirement needed a worthwhile income so kept my atheism and politics on ice for the main part. Not now though! You see a few years back we (that is my wife Shirley and I) sold our business and whilst we didn’t make a fortune we secured just sufficient to retire early. We were private investigators specialising in locating fraudsters and their ill-gotten gains. Along the way I often found myself in the most surreal situations some of which are mirrored in my poetry.
That I am the world’s most impractical man and also one with the propensity to take things said to me ‘literally’ often leads to others thinking me to be on the cusp of lunacy…another trait I believe is reflected in my work!
Whatever my ‘Poetry With a Hint of Lunacy’ or perhaps, ‘Poetry With a Hint of Magic’ are my bit of fun in life…my way of letting my mind roam free.


38 thoughts on “About

  1. I’ve read you for some time now. And nearly afraid to admit I barely understand, but you have some “purdy” words (said with Kentucky accent). However, I’m starting to grasp things.
    Groucho Marx once said the only poem that made sense to him was the one that starts, “Thirty days hath September.”
    A friend of mine often says,
    Roses are red
    Violets are Blue
    Some poems rhyme
    And others don’t

    1. Cheers, Sir. I am cursed with a wandering mind. The missus is on my case all the time! And as my old dad used to tell me, ‘You don’t half write a load of old bollocks, son’. I’m guessing he was probably onto something when he said that!

  2. One of the most interesting “about”s I have ever read – intriguing, actually. Love the photo at the top of your sidebar. It seems you did NOT pick up your mother’s fear of germs – a miracle in itself.
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
    ADD/EFD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
    “It takes a village to transform a world!”

    1. The photo, taken beside the Loire river two years ago is close to my heart, as is my wife (who knows more things than I’ll ever know), save for accepting the fact she cured me of phobias such as mother’s germ one. As an example, my parents were very poor yet I had a silver set of cutlery all to myself, washed and disinfected aside the rest, thus fulfilling her quest for my own from other immortality. Also, when growing up she never once kissed or touched in case she passed on her germs to me…a weird thing I got used to.

      1. Wow. I can’t imagine never being touched growing up. My own mother was a bit “touch shy” – super sensitive to it and easily overwhelmed, I now believe – but she was physically loving when she initiated the kisses, hugs, etc.

        Your comment gives new meaning to “born with a silver spoon” lol

      2. When a child lives in a state of physical isolation the child remains at the self-same centre of his/her own universe as was the case at birth. Of course, as I grew up I got a rude awakening! Hindsight, by the way is a thing I enjoy. Thanks for inspiring a little reflective thought…I appreciate that.

      3. I had to check Jimmy Buffet on Google. He seems an accomplished chap. You know, I think there is so much material to be had looking back at disasters and/or failures in ones own life. That way I treat self-deprecation as a virtue…if I didn’t I’d have likely topped myself long ago.

      4. Buffet is often referenced for the song with the lyric, “”If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane” — on his Changes in Latitudes Changes in Attitudes album. Search for it on YouTube if you want to hear it. Catchy little tune.

  3. Hello Mike, Thanks for following my blog, I’ll go check your out. I enjoyed your ‘life’ story. It reminded me of a student I had back in the 70s whom we all thought pretty thick. However he went to Uni around the time word processors came into use. Today he has two doctorates and is doing well for himself. Glad you didn’t let that teacher ruin your life.

    1. Cheers, Sir. I think back in the day dyslexic was an unheared of thing. Seeing my youngest make the same spelling mistakes as I did, then struggle with reading as I did before getting diagnosed and going on the get a 1st class degree at uni tells me he got his dyslexia via my bloodline! Poor sod. Such is life.

  4. Hi Mike, I know you’ve followed my blog for a long time, and I can’t believe I haven’t been over here. I just want to say “thanks” and I’m going to peruse your world now, and maybe catch up a little. Thanks again for all your “likes!”

  5. Welcome to my blog, Mike! (I observe we have a few common friends as well)
    At my blog you’ll find neraly 7 000 ‘full screen pictures’ from Norway. Please enjoy, and thanks for the ‘follow’!

    1. I am indeed looking forward to your blog Sir. I shall mention you to my musician son who also blogs on WP. He sometimes writes music that fits Scandanavian themes. Best of good fortune.

  6. Ah, Mike:

    Such a maniac, so opinionated, and such a writer. British to a fault….I love that, being born in N. Ireland, I hold my tongue too much here in the States.

    “Gentlemen Prefer A Pulse?” Brilliant.

    I could not find a better way to send this thank you note, for that I apologize.

    I want to thank you for your support of “Cracked Window,” yes I am crazy, yes I am Irish, and yes, I spew, and cannot stop.

    I have never cared if anyone even understands what i try to say, but it gives me a giggle when they seem to.

    Simply: Mike, thank you, nothing more, just thank you. I appreciate your support of a mental Irshman 🙃


  7. Mike, this is one of the most unusual and open about pages I’ve read. Fascinating and wow, what a route to writing. As a huge fan of PI programmes as young I’m intrigued by your time as one…sounds like you have a lot of tales from that era! Good luck with your words and wishing you a most creative year! 😀😀

    1. My thanks, Annika. It looks as if you are on a major creative roll, and from reading your hamster interview, it also looks as if success is given. I shall enjoy following your blog.

  8. It’s true. You woke up and found yourself in Uncle Bardie Country. Now that you have followed Uncle Bardie, you may find yourself at that fork in the road that you have to take. With Uncle Bardie for a guide, you can be comforted that you may stub your toe on a pun, find you can’t resist laughing at those things you never thought funny, and wake up to wonder what Uncle Bardie is up to. It’s okay. That itch can be scratched. Simply tune in to the next Post, It could very well be a doozy or not. Either way it will be coming from the whacky mind of Uncle Bardie. So thanks for following Uncle Bardie’s Stories & Such. It beats bananas any day. Unless…but that’s a whole ‘nother thang. And one last thing. Have a great day (or night, depending on your perspective).

    1. Uncle Brdie seems to have got it sorted. Philosopher or regular gem Bardie seems to hold the secret. As a miserable old sod, this night will be the night I never expected. Such is life. Enjoy your day or night…whichever comes first ~ Mike

    1. My apologies Peter. It must look so bloody rude of me for not res;ponding earlier. Thanks for your visit. I believe, at last, my brain is sending out signals the knackered eye can read. It been 16 months since this old fool fell and created this nuisance but ’tis surprising what the mind can do when it needs to. I’m glad I’m not forgotten. Man U let me down against Spurs a few weeks back. My cagey wager was not so cagey on the day! Best of good fortune, Regards, Mike

  9. Hi, Mike, –
    You registered as a ‘follower’ to SeeNorway back in November 2017 quickly rising to our ‘brown team’ having responded 33 times! However, since July 20th 2018 we haven’t heard nor seen anything of your profile? That would, of course, be quite OK if we hadn’t published anything for you to see, but the fact is that we have published no less than 105 new posts since then? And as you are still figuring on our list of follwers, we were wondering if you’re still regarding yourself to be a ‘follower’? You should have been receiving 105 ‘alerts’ . . .?
    Or should we just remove you from the list?

    1. As I have intimated in previous post I have experienced irksome visual problems giving rise to my temporary (hopefully) absence from my blog – it is there to be read in my posts by my followers. As to what you wish to do all I can say is that the choice is yours. Regards, Mike

      1. It sounds that you are not perticularly intrested in our pictures? More perhaps marketing your blog? And this is why I ask, because you were present before, but seemingly not any more?
        Anyway, you’re not barred in any way, but I don’t think we’ll bother sending alerts if they are of no interest to you! That’s aall I wanted to know. Cheers!

      2. Aw, I rfecognize that situation very well, Mike.
        I’ve turned the size of letters up a notch or two on my computer several months ago. It has made things a bit easier! Why don’t you try that?

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